The Super Bowl Defined

The Super Bowl – n. 1. A gathering of people who bring lots of food and share it with complete strangers; 2. A gathering of millions of dollars in untaxed profits and glorified commercialization; 3. A competition in which men are paid millions of dollars to risk their physical well-being for “entertainment”; 4. A show so boring people really only watch it for the things they can see when it isn’t playing the actual show; 5. An excuse for people to become intoxicated and angry about something which has absolutely no consequence in their actual lives; 6. A presentation reinforcing gender stereotypes during which men mindlessly destroy each other while women stand nearby and exist only to smile and look pretty.

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